Widening the Circle of Light

09 – 24/06/26

Do you believe in magic?

Not the magical kind or circus tricks, but black magic.

I started believing recently, and I don’t quite know what to do with that belief.

There are people who practice what I believe to be the ultimate form of manipulation.

Black magic seems to be about fear and submission.

Or perhaps fear and submission are the essence of manipulation itself.

I don’t know what makes black magic “black.”

Perhaps it is the attempt to seek power through means that turn us away from God as the ultimate source of guidance.

Fear and submission are powerful tools for robbing a person of their God-given autonomy and freedom of choice.

Many times in my life, I have surrendered my own power voluntarily.

This feels different.

I don’t have proof.

But after thirty-five, a woman tends to believe herself more wholeheartedly.

Hopefully, she also believes in herself more.

When I was younger, I needed other people to believe what I said for it to be validated as true.

Now something can be true for me, even if no one else believes it.

Thankfully, I no longer need so much external validation.

What a relief.

What I do know is that beliefs about witchcraft have existed throughout the world for centuries.

As a child, a school friend told me that a strand of hair or a person’s saliva was needed to cast a spell. We were both far too young to carry such concerns, yet the idea stayed with me.

What frightened me most was the idea of animal sacrifice.

Not sacrifice itself. The ritual sacrifice of a lamb to God, whose meat we eat, doesn’t trouble me.

What unsettled me was the idea of sacrificing an animal in pursuit of hidden power.

My first unsettling experience came years later.

Whenever I was around someone whose attention many people seemed desperate to obtain, I became like a goldfish inside a bowl.

I couldn’t speak.

I couldn’t engage.

I simply watched while they looked at me expectantly.

I wasn’t nervous.

I wasn’t intimidated.

I simply froze.

Years later, I came across videos describing something called a “freeze spell” or a “binding spell.”

Whether those descriptions have any basis in reality or not, I recognized the experience they were attempting to describe.

Years later still, I told my parents about it.

They suggested visiting a religious healer to break whatever had affected me.

It turned out that the person recommended to us also worked in the same dark craft.

I decided not to pursue it.

Trying to fight evil with what appeared to be another form of hidden power felt like walking deeper into the same forest.

More recently, I watched a close friend become almost unrecognizable after forming a new friendship.

Perhaps it was manipulation.

Perhaps it was infatuation.

Perhaps it was simply the ordinary way people grow apart.

I don’t know.

And because I don’t know, I choose not to accuse.

God knows I’ve changed many times throughout my life.

I’ve outgrown people, places, and interests.

I certainly wouldn’t tell anyone my suspicions.

I would become the villain of the story.

More than wondering whether someone else could rob me of my autonomy, I find myself asking different questions.

Where am I giving up my power unnecessarily or unintentionally?

Am I surrendering my power to fear in exchange for a false sense of safety?

Am I surrendering my power to the desire to please, or to the fear of disappointing others?

I have also heard that our sins create openings through which darkness can enter.

Perhaps the better protection is not fear, but bringing light to our own shadows until they no longer govern us unseen.

So what do I do?

I continue reciting the Qur’an.

I continue with my prayers for protection.

I keep my distance where I feel uneasy.

Beyond that, I don’t know.

Whatever evil exists in this world, I believe it carries a cost for those who choose it.

I don’t need revenge.

I don’t need retribution.

I simply want safety, peace, and for people to remain fully themselves: autonomous, ambitious, and guided by what is good.

Of all worldly losses, perhaps there is none greater than losing oneself.

That can happen through manipulation.

But it can also happen through the fear of being manipulated.

Where am I failing to protect myself?

Where am I protecting myself too much?

How do I distinguish between the fear that protects me and the fear that imprisons me?

Perhaps the measure is not whether a fear is real or imagined, but whether it expands my freedom to act truthfully or quietly shrinks it.

One thing I do believe is this:

Fear is more often a weapon used against me than a tool working for me.

So perhaps the answer is not to obsess over the darkness, but to widen the circle of light.

Show up.

Move forward.

Become stronger through action.

Feel protected by faith.

Trust the light that guides us.

Speak the truth.

Live the truth.

And let the truth dispel the doubts that keep us small.